• Steph Kosty

Identity-Crisis Zeitgeist

It seems I hit a nerve with last month's post. Did I stumble into the identity-crisis zeitgeist? Are we all struggling with questions about identity going into our third year of pandemic restrictions, losses, and new beginnings?


When a theme reaches this level of common feedback, I know that I am not alone - which means, in turn, that you are not alone. When we consider questions as all-encompassing as, "who am I" and "what is it I really want" it can disrupt, well, everything.

If you're like me, you might be compelled to DO something, anything to restore equilibrium - this might look like taking on more: going on a deep dive on the news cycle (I did it, it wasn't good), an intense decluttering, starting a huge new project, or for some, the opposite - a total numbing check out.

But the thing is, now that we've asked the question, it can't be unasked, it can only be explored, or ignored.

When my husband and I started using our Fair Play cards, I was clear on what my jobs were and yet, there was an afternoon when I was unoccupied for a moment so I picked up a part of his. Not only did this undermine the whole point of the system built on equity, it also shone a light on a theme I don't visit often: Doing less.

When I stopped looking to take on more, there I was, with myself, wondering, what does a person like me enjoy? How do I want to spend 20 minutes of not doing chores or more work?

What if, instead of distraction-to-restore or all-out collapse, we allowed ourselves to simply take on less?

What happens to you when you slow down? Where do you go when you are alone with your thoughts? What part of your identity is rooted in doing? What values are challenged by doing less?

This piece was originally published March 23, 2022 in Fulcrum's BALANCE POINTS Newsletter. Subscribe to BALANCE POINTS today!


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